So I came home after working my two jobs to a dirty kitchen, of course. A good portion of the mess was mine so I cleaned it. Wiped everything down and put stuff in the sink to put in the dishwasher later. And then I left the kitchen. Came back an hour later to find a wine bottle on the counter with the cork floating inside, some odd black smear on the counter and a bottle of gin on the other side of the sink. Somehow, Mike managed to pour wine on the freshly cleaned counter, which was about a foot away from a roll of paper towels. Instead of cleaning it, I left it there. This morning, I walked through the kitchen to find remnants of “Easy Mac” all over the counter. For those of you that aren’t aware, Easy Mac is macaroni and cheese for dumbshits who are unable to boil water. You throw the ingredients into a bowl, add water and put it in the microwave. It might just be the perfect food for people with the munchies (wink wink) as it takes mere seconds from package to plate. Anyway, the step that involved putting the contents into a bowl confused Mike so he poured much of it onto the counter. I’m staying calm. Trying.

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