Here’s another story about Mike and his endless, childlike innocense. By “childlike innocense”, I mean that he acts like a newborn. Lots of drooling and pants-shitting. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I was sitting in the living room, watching “Food Network” when Mike wandered in on his way to the Porch of Doom. Next is an actual conversation between me and the world’s biggest dipshit.

Mike: “Hey! What’s the deal with Emeril? Why’s he so popular?”
Me: “Well, I think he relates to regular people. One minute he’s making creme brulee and the next you see him eating a hoagie.”
Mike: “Hoagie doagie fogie doagie”

I wish I was kidding. This conversation actually happened. He just spouted out nonsense words. I’m still amazed by this, mainly because the guy is 24 and should be able to conduct a real conversation. I also saw it as an opportunity to try and connect with him in some way. Too bad I don’t speak “dipshit”.

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