This could be the stupidest thing I’ve seen in a long time… and that’s saying a lot. Some dipsh*t named Karen Davis, who claims to have a PhD and who is also the president of some bullsh*t organization called the United Poultry Concerns, Inc., has sent a formal letter to the advertising company of AFLAC for the “literally or implicitly harmful situations” the duck is placed in during the airing of these commercials.
Ok. Let’s pretend that I’m on a typewriter and I’m typing a letter to Ms. Davis!
Dear Ms. Davis:
I think it's important for you to realize the difference between reality and fantasy. I'd like to help. I am going to label a couple of statements to help define the two.
Fantasy: An commercial you see on TV, with the exception of the "Girls Gone Wild" spots. The duck on the AFLAC ad does NOT fall off of a cliff. The "Ty-D-Bowl" man doesn't drown in the commercial. In fact, he's not real! I know... I was surprised by that one, too! Oh... and Cap'n Crunch isn't really a captain.
Reality: You are a stupid ass who cheapens the whole IDEA of a doctorate. Please PLEASE stop watching commercials so much and stay off the crack pipe.