According to Laughlab, scientists have discovered the one joke with universal appeal. One one that every person regardless of background will love. Except me, it would seem. Here goes:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator says: “Calm down, I can help.
First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”
See what I mean? Not great. The joke voted the best by the United Kingdom is much better.
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her,”The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”