Monthly Archives: May 2004

Wish Me Luck!

I’m scrambling around like a mental patient because today is “closing day” on my house. If all goes well — and it BETTER — I will be the owner of a house at 4pm today. Cross your fingers and toes … Continue reading

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O.J. Simpson – Jackass or F*cktard?

From the NY Daily News: Can’t this man be stopped?: Apparently taking a break from his continuing search for the real killers, O.J. Simpson is hoping to mark the 10th anniversary of wife Nicole’s savage murder June 12 – along … Continue reading

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Lakers Peyton Takes Time To Kiss, Fondle Opposition

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Bird As Music Critic – Cyndi Lauper Pooped On During Show

Girls just wanna eat dung. The Arizona Central is reporting today that during a Cyndi Lauper show, a bird flew overhead while she hit a crescendo and pooped in her mouth. Really. I don’t know if this is news… but … Continue reading

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Another Sign of the Apocalypse…

Come for our delicious, fresh brewed coffee, stay for our “double burger”, wrapped in an edible low-carb piece of cardboard! My girlfriend and I went to “Cracker Barrel” last night, mostly because we eat like an old, fat couple trapped … Continue reading

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Hitler Decendent Turns Down "Mein Kampf" Royalties

Royalties for Hitler’s jailhouse memoir, “Mein Kampf”, has been estimated in the millions and his heir wants nothing to do with the money. Peter Raubal, a great nephew of the Nazi monster, is the closest decendent and historians have determined … Continue reading

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Bubba Ho-Tep on DVD!

Bubba Ho-Tep comes to DVD May 25th from MGM!!!! The long anticipated limited Special Collectors Edition Bubba Ho-Tep DVD will be released May 25th in stores everywhere from MGM. This Limited Edition will include a brilliant 12 page color booklet … Continue reading

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This Just In! Kirk Douglas Eats Baby.

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Jewel – Plays Casino, Does Perfect Don Rickles Impression

Snaggle-toothed singer Jewel played a casino in the northeast recently and subsequently lost her mind. Reportedly, she “told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts.” She also referenced Zoloft and Paxil, two anxiety medications. Here … Continue reading

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