My 24 Carat Ring Hurts, Cries Paris Hilton

Paris, move your hand so I can smack you.

Waste of space and plasma Paris Hilton is quoted in the latest edition of US Weekly that the 24-carat engagement ring she received from her fiance, suspisciously named “Paris”, was too large and unmanagable and ultimately hurt her itty, bitty fingers.

Seems to me she could hire someone to hold her arm up for her.

Anyway, I’m not one of the most worldly people in the world, but I have heard of places in New York where they will cut off your feet to get to your Michael Jordan’s. Can’t we send Paris there?

It’s like I’ve said all along. Paris Hilton is a woman of the people. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go punch a wall.

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2 Responses to My 24 Carat Ring Hurts, Cries Paris Hilton

  1. Anonymous says:

    Maybe if the woman ingested protein once in awhile she wouldn’t find it so hard to lift those stick-like claws of hers.

    Do you know of any guys who find PH hot? She’s always being portrayed in the media as this major babe, but I’ve yet to run across a straight male who agrees.

    Great caption, by the way.

    –Chase

  2. Frog says:

    She ingests protein. Trust me on this one… I’ve seen the video.

    There are about a gazillion girls that are hotter than Paris Hilton but I suspect that some guys look at her and would like to grudge bang all the pretense out of her. Personally, I would torture her by breaking into her place and placing a nice swirly in her favorite Hermes bag.

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